He Says She Says: Closing the Communication Gap Between the Sexes by Glass Lillian

Author:Glass, Lillian [Glass, Lillian]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Your Total Image Publishers
Published: 2015-06-18T16:00:00+00:00

INTIMACY THROUGH TOUGH

Physical affection is essential in order to have a fulfilling, intimate relationship. Couples need to feel comfortable holding hands, touching one another, and putting their arms around their mate. Touching is an essential part of intimacy. It’s also another way men and women communicate with each other .

Studies show that men touch women more often than women touch men. It is usually the man who first puts his arms around a woman or who first reaches out to touch her hand.

When they are only casually acquainted, women tend to be annoyed by men who touch them freely. This may be because women don’t feel the man’s touch is very sincere. Thus, whenever a man touches a woman, he needs to be honest about his intentions— does he really like her or is he merely being flirtatious. In the latter case, men should keep their hands to themselves.

As well, there are too many women who have been turned off by men who have “fishlike handshakes” or “fishlike touches,” as they describe them. These women make comments like, “These men give me the creeps,” “They feel gross,” or “They are wimpy.” If a man is going to touch a woman, the touch has to be firm and welcomed. If a woman recoils or shrinks back, you can rest assured that she doesn’t want your hands near her. Men need to be sensitive about these nonverbal signals, especially when trying to establish an intimate relationship.

Daniella finally went out with a gentleman whom several people wanted her to meet. They had a very nice “first date,” and all went well until her date walked her to the door. She was completely turned off when he touched her and tried to kiss her good night. She commented, “He gave me the creeps. I hated the way he touched me and even more so, I hated the way he kissed—so I decided to forget him.”

On the other hand, if a woman is interested in a man, she needs to let him know it, and not be afraid to reach out and touch him.

I recently invited two friends to my house for dinner because I wanted them to meet one another. It was apparent within the first five minutes that the woman, Cynthia, was very attracted to the man, Gary. She let him know this by freely touching his forearm as she told him a funny story. Throughout dinner, she maintained her tactile communication with him. It was fortunate that Gary felt the same way because he reciprocated her touches. The dinner was definitely a success as the two of them subsequently began dating.

Dr. David Givens, an anthropologist at the University of Washington, has conducted studies on nonverbal body language during courtship. He found that when a woman is interested in a man she will usually respond to a mans touch by grabbing his forearm when telling a story in order to express her interest in him.

Dr. Givens states that in social situations, if partners

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